Twitter purim short story
For those of you who don’t know twitter… @ = directed at someone specific. # = “file under.” AchashveiroshAdvisor1: @JewsofShushan PARTY AT THE PALACE! KingAchash: @AllAdvisors Bring Vashti ASAP #ShowOffTheWife QueenVashti: @Advisor2 I ain’t goin’ nowhere… KingAchash: Time for a new wife! AchashveiroshAdvisor1: @WomenofShushan All the single ladies must come to the palace #UglyNotIncluded HadassahEsther: I’m not going. Royal Guards: @HadassahEsther You must come with us. Heigai: @WomenofShushan Makeup counter is to your left. KingAchash: Picked my new wife! #Esther HadassahEsther: : ( MordiJew: @HadassahEsther I am sitting by the gate #WatchingYou Bigsan&Seresh: Guess what we’re up to!? MordiJew: @HadassahEsther Bigsan and Seresh out to kill your hubby HadassahEsther: @MordiJew Will let him know, thanks. KingAchash: Mordechai saved my life #Chronicles KingAchash: @Haman You’re gonna be my right-hand man Haman: @KingAchash Sweet! Everyone is going to have to bow to me now #Power MordiJew: @Haman Not gonna bow #JewsDon’tDoThat Haman: Problem solved #GetRidofJews Haman: @KingAchash Those Jews are awful. Can I kill them? KingAchash: @Haman Sure, why not. AchashveiroshAdvisor: 13th day of Adar- Jews are going down! MordiJew: Oy! #JewsNeedToFast HadassahEsther: @MordiJew OMG! MordiJew: @ HadassahEsther Esther, talk to the king! HadassahEsther: @KingAchash @Haman Please come over for a dinner party KingAchash: @ HadassahEsther Sure Haman: @ HadassahEsther Free food, I’m there! KingAchash: Dinner with the wife and right-hand man #Awesome KingAchash: @HadassahEsther What can I do for you, Esther? HadassahEsther: @KingAchash Come over tomorrow with @Haman for another dinner party Haman: Saw Mordechai today, he still wouldn’t bow! #BuildingaGallow KingAchash: I can’t sleep KingAchash: @Advisor2 Read me my chronicles Advisor2: @KingAchash I opened the book. Remember the time Mordechai saved your life? KingAchash: @Advisor2 Yes, what did he get? Advisor2: @KingAchash Nothing, Sir. KingAchash: @Haman Tell me, what shall be done for a man the king wishes to honor? Haman: The king must be talking about me #Awesome Haman: @KingAchash Let him wear the king's royal robes and a crown. Let him ride the king's royal horse. Haman: @KingAchash Oh! And let a servant walk before the horse and say “this shall be done to the man whom the king wishes to honor!” That would be cool… KingAchash: @Haman Nice! Find Mordechai the Jew and do what you said #NiceGuysGetRewarded Haman: Horrible day! At least I get another free dinner tonight #DinnerAtThePalace KingAchash: @ HadassahEsther Great dinner, now what can I do for you? HadassahEsther: @KingAchash Please spare my life and the life of my people! KingAchash: @ HadassahEsther Who would do such a thing!? HadassahEsther: @KingAchash Your wicked advisor @Haman! KingAchash: Hanged Haman today. #EvilGuysAlwaysGetFoiled @JewsAroundTheWorld Don’t forget to fulfill the mitzvot of Purim! Listen to the Megillah, have a Purim meal, send gifts of food (mishloach manot), and give gifts to the poor.
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Today we are glad to invite you to the Slichot ceremony - apologizing for the past year before Yom Kippur. We will be very happy to see you in the Synagogue. The ceremony will happen simultaneously with Tel Aviv through Video connection. Read more
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